Big hole

It's tuesday. I left you and back to work. Seeing you rushing back to plant after dinner. Felt bad. But nothing i can do. I can only comfort myself that 'hey next tuesday is your public holiday. It'll be better'.

I went back office for monthly meeting. More and more i feel emptier than morning. Big hole in my heart.

I really don't know why. Walking back home. Planning a subway for my late lunch, at imbiah, but hell. It shut down before i notice. And the hole become deeper. End up having subway alone at vivo. Did some groceries shopping on way back. Carrying things alone. Buying sinful junk food. And ate them. And feel bad. No one at home. Feel like crying. Don't want to talk to anyone. Watch some meaningless taiwan show. Feel even emptier.

My schedule seems so normal. But I'm suffocating. I'm letting myself suffocate in this emptiness. I told mom yesterday i feel like going home. I do really. Mama, papa, bing, ting, tommy, popo, ning ning, xiao bai. I miss everyone.

5 o'clock in the evening. I'm in a big mess. A big mess of emo.

life goes on

It's a new year coming. No matter how much you miss 2010, or how much you are looking forward to 2011, 1st of January comes at the same time for everyone. Fair and Square.

Looking back at 2010, what had i gone through..

1. Got my undergraduate. with honors. and my first class.

2. Had an awesome internship at Tioman, and made new friends *o*

3. Celebrated our 2nd year anniversary with thesis.

4. Got a job.

5. Make it to the Mt Kinabalu Low's Peak ^o^

But other than this. Nothing important. So many things to do but i had not complete. Lots of item to be 'checked'. But somehow 2010 was awesome for me. I begin my year as a university student, hanging out and bluffing here and there. In the end of this year i started my very first job in my life. Lots to learn.

I pass by McDonald's just now. Saw the prosperity burger. It reminds me of the time we had the burger at KK, with all coursemates. It was a great time. But nothing replays. Perhaps me, NE, tzes, and tall can have together this year again?

Cheers everyone. It's another year ahead. It's another 365days of your very own adventure!

EMO.

Suddenly fell into emo again. Reading all those jimuiss planning for year end trip. I missed it. For some reason, i always miss it. Final year project, family trip, uni thingie.. all sorts of crap. But the result is I MISSED THOSE TRIPS. and the one coming up.

My weeks become 5days, then 2days rushing back here with you, then 5 days there 2 days here. HERE AND THERE. Traveler. I tell myself. It's worthwhile.

Christmas's over. Honestly i never celebrate any Christmas. Never celebrate but somehow everytime I know it's existence, jokers, all the shops keep on playing 'SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN.

Quite a while i stop posting. Busy. The nonetheless excuse. Working life is just different. I miss the days being pronounce as uni student. *o* and the student price.

I came about to question myself. Is all these worth it?! I sacrifice the family time, the friendship at home, my BF time, for this job. Am I doing well? I don't know. Dad always ask me to look for other job, YC always ask me to stop being so tired, and i still homesick. After years being away, I still homesick. JOKERS.

One day i look into the mirror. And i found only myself. Who somehow a little bit different from the one i used to.

HELLO STRANGER.

Small sea lion.

Sorry everyone. Nothing amazing. Just want to share a stupid joke.

Before the joke start, I would like to thanks FC for providing this joke. It's a nice one. Trust me.

So yeah. One day, after the sea lion show, otter twinkle came out. The lil fella. Lots of audience still there. And then one pass in front of us.

Kid: Hey mom! See!! See!!!

Mom: Hey son!

Kid: Wow! What's that?

Mom: Boy, see! It's a small sea lion.

-_-''

So for your information, these is sea lion and otter. (Let me smack you if you can't tell them apart. Thanks.)

smiling dolphins

So everyone must have the idea: Dolphins are friendly, dolphins always smile, dolphins are kind and the angel.. and blah blah blah..

Excuse me, they are not friendly. They bite.

Moreover, they are freaking cheeky. Not the lovely kind of cheeky. And I'm not yet there to train them yet. But lucky enough to be 'fool' by them.

And dolphins are carnivore. They hunt and kill. They weren't always smiling, they have no cheek, they were forced to smile.

Last but not least, they are not angel. They are just dolphins.

I hate myself

I was always like this. Always. And I hate this me so much. I hide it for so long, so unexpectedly the devil came out today...

I hate myself for this. I hate my tears. I hate my uncontrollable tear glands. I know my tears is always my cheerleader. But I'm not kiddo anymore. I don't want to cry in front of people.

Dear myself, please grow up. And learn to block your stupid tear glands.

Milk tea.

It is weird with a title 'milk tea' and follow by a drawing like this

Who do you think she is?

---> It's my queen. My red queen.

Nobody likes red queen. She's the bad character in the story. But she's just a pity character. She deserves fans as well. She deserves love too. Like 'white'. And to add on, i don't like white.

Going back to milk tea. I miss those 'milk tea' session in the mid night.

Me + Tall + NE. Tiny Pearls. Chocolate ice-blended.

I miss the fun we had.